yuemiru | idk my bff witches

idk my bff witches

[So, let's call this some weird-ass setting where the Freaky Kingdom Next Door is ruled by witches! And generally they don't go razing towns or turning people into toads unless some motherfucker really earned it, but people still shy from the town on the border because, you know, magic changes a place when the Good Witch Pyromania sets up shop, or whatever.

Of course, if anyone were to just wander in there, they certainly wouldn't find a young woman in ...actually pretty nice clothing, sitting on a rock and, apparently, waiting for this unconscious asshole who decided to sneak through the forest to spy on Yon Freaky Place Next Door to wake up. Or for her to get snuck up on for the second time in as many minutes because that won't end badly.]

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[So maybe you're just a local nobleman, maybe a prince or something, who rather than sit around and argue primogenitive inheritance laws with your dad, you decided to strike out on your own. And maybe your kingdom happened to be next to the freaky kingdom labeled "here there be dragons" on the map. So having nothing better to do, literally, you strike out, make it about two hours into the other country, and someone hits you in the head rather hard with something, maybe a magically conjured rock.]

[That would be his day right now. This is why he's laying there, slowly coming to, and holding his head.]

mmmgh...

Well, well, look who's awake.

[Well, now there's a girl looking down at you. Ornate earrings, lots of jewelry, some hair braided back in surprisingly familiar court style, the rest of the hair in your face...yeah, guess who got knocked out by a witch princess.]

Care to explain why I've had to concuss a stranger in my woods today?

[Most men would be terrified, or at least confused. Instead, still blinking awake, he looks up at her for the longest time with a guarded expression, and then, after a short while, smiles.]

First, I do not think it was a concussion. Secondly, my name is not given lightly, nor by force. Who is asking? I believe a vision of loveliness such as yourself loses nothing by telling me her name first.

Didn't see where you were much in the position to be making requests, given the whole trespassing bit.

[She stares back down at him, unflinching, for a little longer, before shrugging.]

Yue Ceinwen Long. [Which brings us to one of the few known things. the Witch King's last name is 'Long'.]

Alejandro Rodas Guardia y Victoriano.

[Well. Apparently this is just a meeting of the noble families of the region.]

And I was not aware this forest was private land.

...You just wandered across the border. Most who try it are looking for prestige and glory bringing down a witch, even if it's been centuries since anybody went around summoning demons or lighting kingdoms on fire, not an idiot who missed the border demarkations.

[Yeah, she is kind of judging his life choices a little bit right now.]

That would explain, at the very least, why you hit me in the head so unexpectedly. Still, I meant you no harm. I just saw the need to set out, and rather than take roads, where my status would be known, I thought the woods would make for a less dramatic journey.

[He quirks an eyebrow.]

I can see now that I was mistaken. But given that I have met you, perhaps it is just as well.

Cool your jets, Casanova, you still have a head injury.

[She seems to be considering this.] ...Ahh! There's no help for it. I have to report you back to father anyway, I might as well make sure you're not treated as a prisoner.

[And she's...whistling? Why is she whistlin--Oh hello that is a dragon just casually landing with a very large thud in that same meadow that's why.]

Come on, I'm kidnapping you.

I am not so easily deterred. If all it took were a strike to the head, my family line would be in very dire straits.

[Now a dragon. A dragon gives him a moment of pause.]

I do not know which idea I dislike more, though. A dragon, or being subjected to more politics. Maybe I should try my luck in the prisons.

[Despite his complaints, though, he is going to follow her.]

Oh, shush, he's perfectly friendly, hardly ever eats any virgins.

[How did she even say that with a straight face--

but she climbs on with practiced ease and the dragon is, true to her word, pretty chill, and mostly just rumbles impatiently for him to get on board.]

Oh? That is rather telling.

[Well, apparently he's something of a rider because once he realizes it's like getting on a giant horse, he's not bad at the whole process.]

Telling? How so? ...Actually, hold that thought, and hang on.

[Once he settles, though, there's a momentary feeling of a spring about to snap before the dragon literally leaps upwards and starts gaining altitude rapidly. It takes less than a minute to be high enough that falling would be disastrous, and about two for it to level off, turn, and head off towards a destination, all seemingly without much direction needed from Yue herself.

Also, this is a hell of a lot faster than a horse.]

[If nothing else, the young prince she knocked the fuck out seems to be rather good at just going with it, because he looks positively delighted to be doing this right now. There's only so much of that that can be blamed on the headwound as well.]

Amazing~

...That's right, you people don't ever fly, do you? Take it in, then. It never really grows old.

[He is now getting also an aerial view of a kingdom no one else has actually drawn a map of and...it actually looks fairly normal? They pass over small towns, there are roads, a minimum of ominous wizard towers...juking around some jackass doing loop-de-loops on a carpet, a carriage being pulled by alicorn through the sky towards a flying castle.

...okay, maybe not that normal.]

I can see where it wouldn't. I'm quite the rider, but this is something else entirely.

[He does seem to be taking in more the scenery than any of the people, and for a moment that charming roguishness slips away to a serious consideration, probably even introspection.]

When you're quiet like that I'm worried you're plotting something, you know.

[The castle seems to be their destination, given how they've begun circling it and slowly rising as they draw in closer with each loop.]

Would you prefer I return to flattery? My other option besides watching the countryside and thinking of my home, is to instead watch you and consider the beauty in front of me instead. You seemed a touch upset by this idea before.

...This may come as a shock to you, but flirting with strangers wasn't exactly in my lessons, no matter how good they look.

[Wait, what--]

..It's unprecedented, but I don't think we can prevent you from ever returning home. The idiots that come looking for a fight are one thing, but if we were to keep you, it's liable to start a war. That said, you may be here for some time before then.

Oho, so the princess does have some bite to her. And to call me handsome, too. I'm rather enamored of all of this.

[But his demeanor quickly darkens again.]

I was not looking for asylum, just passage through. I thought it would be interesting to see somewhere most of the world is terrified of first. There is little reason for me to return.

I didn't say--!

[She huffs, but doesn't tsun any harder because, well. This is some heavy shit.]

...Hold on, landing gets a little rough.

[Well, not much he can do but hold on. Hopefully this doesn't get too awkward with her already tsunning at him.]

[Well, it's a steep enough ascent he is going to get pushed forward into her. And the landing is, as she said, as rough as you'd expect when you're riding on a gigantic lizard that basically dropped down onto the ground from the sky.

There's an attendant nearby who starts to announce her, notices him, and is kind of freaking out a little as Yue dismounts and slides down to pet the dragon, whosagooddragon, whoosagooodbooooooy.]

Relax. I'm taking him to Father, but he isn't to be treated as a threat.

I am beginning to understand what they meant when they said isolationist...

[Yeah, just the prince of another country strolling past all these guards with the princess who he was holding moments ago. Nobody freak. This is normal.]

[Well the dude just left, presumably to inform the king, and she sighs.]

Too much so. People can't stop being afraid of our magic if we keep them from ever seeing us.

And if they remain afraid long enough, then, they will eventually grow angry. That leads to an inevitable war.

[He sighs.]

Of course, war is good for kingdoms. They have no reason to divert it.

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